Its been more than a year since last update

wow, time passes by so quickly, and i had already abandoned my blog for more than a year!!

i really like the fact that i have about 1 view per day on this blog - which cheers me up a bit haha!
its been a year, and,, well, they biggest change in this year was.... going to university.

it really is a different world. there really are more responsibilities, and you feel like you had became an adult in just one day (emotionally, i mean. i know what you are thinking *sassy face*
there are so much more that you have to do it yourself and your parents are no longer right there next to you to fix everything for you. lest not for get the student loans on your back hahaha (not funny, actually)

socializing is another really tiring thing in university. you don't wanna mess up with people, so you put up that friendly face and be nice to everyone - which at the end  you messed up yourself. sometimes you just wanna lock yourself up in a room but your roommates here and you certainly don't want her to know that you are having a bad time.

looking back at the first time i skipped school. (i pretended that i was too sick to go. well, i was kinda sick but not too sick that i had to stay home) mum thought that i was really sick so i stayed home. i felt really bad and i actually made an blog entry about it (try to find it out from my older entries. send me a message if you found it. i will give out a prize. no lie.)

but now in university, sleep schedules are messed up. 8:30 classes are like hell (skipped half of them with no shame now) you are sleepy all the time. sometimes, even if you go to class, you are like hanging over (though i wasn't drinking at all) you just too tired for this shit.

the weird thing is, i have fewer school hours now comparing to high school. why is it so tiring?!

i just wanna go home.
but i don't wanna drop out.
i need a degree.

i used to be able to easily find simple things that makes me. like, some little things can make me happy. i just can't find them anymore.

i don't wanna grow up.

perhaps i should re-read the catcher in the rye.























btw, i wish i can fall in love <3.....(sh-------)

Oh hi, Santa Claus!

Santa Claus is the most beautiful lie in the world. I used to believe in him. but I start to question few years ago.

Credit to Pea~ <3 thanks for the pretty picture!

Mum used to tell me Santa will come on 25th of December and he will only deliver presents to good children. He comes with reindeer and a sleigh and wears red suit, black boots and carries a big red bag which fills with presents. i believed her back then. I longed for Santa's present. And i did receive Santa's present every Christmas. Even last year. I got a snow flacks shape earrings which I saw in a small boutique in our neighborhood. I was really surprised. I told my mum that I saw that pair of earrings in that boutique and pretended that I was really surprised and happy.

I remember there was a Christmas Movie called "The Polar Express" on the theater few years ago. This movie is about the group of children went onto a train to the North Pole to find Santa Claus. There was a boy who doesn't believe in Santa but he starts to believe through the journey.At the end of the story, Santa gave a jingle bell to the boy for his Christmas present. There is a magic in the bell: only the people who believe in Santa can hear the bell jingles. I think this movie is so sweet and it is really a great movie for the holiday and it is so suitable to watch it with your 10-year-old-under brothers and sisters. They will love it. And so do I. I really love the story, first of all because I really love the holiday atmosphere, secondly, I am really into fairy tales and fantasy stories. ( I know I am still a kid! XP)

Sometimes I try to compare Santa to God. I think they are similar. Just that Santa is a character but I do believe that God exists. (opps a little bit off topic) I know I am greedy, I pretended to be happy when I got the present from "Santa". You are not suppose to get the present from Santa if you don't believe in him XDD. What I am thinking is that, if Santa is the symbol of love and he himself is lovingly, will he give his present no matter who you are and what you did? This sounds a little bit like Jesus. I really wanna tell my mum that I don't believe in Santa anymore, so please don't prepare a Santa's present for me. But I am afraid that it will affect the faith of my brother in Santa. So I decide to stay silence and see if I can still get an extra present this year.


I know I spoiled a little bit of the holiday atmosphere ...but anyway, Merry Christmas!

just... don't feel like working

ya,, don't feel like working

slacking off

caught a cold yesterday
the running nose made me can't breath well
i took some medicine
i slept

caught nothing today
the warm bed made me can't wake up
i told mum i wasn't feeling well
i ditched

a simple love song

a simple love song.
is something without words
but something you knew it deep down.