Its been more than a year since last update

wow, time passes by so quickly, and i had already abandoned my blog for more than a year!!

i really like the fact that i have about 1 view per day on this blog - which cheers me up a bit haha!
its been a year, and,, well, they biggest change in this year was.... going to university.

it really is a different world. there really are more responsibilities, and you feel like you had became an adult in just one day (emotionally, i mean. i know what you are thinking *sassy face*
there are so much more that you have to do it yourself and your parents are no longer right there next to you to fix everything for you. lest not for get the student loans on your back hahaha (not funny, actually)

socializing is another really tiring thing in university. you don't wanna mess up with people, so you put up that friendly face and be nice to everyone - which at the end  you messed up yourself. sometimes you just wanna lock yourself up in a room but your roommates here and you certainly don't want her to know that you are having a bad time.

looking back at the first time i skipped school. (i pretended that i was too sick to go. well, i was kinda sick but not too sick that i had to stay home) mum thought that i was really sick so i stayed home. i felt really bad and i actually made an blog entry about it (try to find it out from my older entries. send me a message if you found it. i will give out a prize. no lie.)

but now in university, sleep schedules are messed up. 8:30 classes are like hell (skipped half of them with no shame now) you are sleepy all the time. sometimes, even if you go to class, you are like hanging over (though i wasn't drinking at all) you just too tired for this shit.

the weird thing is, i have fewer school hours now comparing to high school. why is it so tiring?!

i just wanna go home.
but i don't wanna drop out.
i need a degree.

i used to be able to easily find simple things that makes me. like, some little things can make me happy. i just can't find them anymore.

i don't wanna grow up.

perhaps i should re-read the catcher in the rye.

btw, i wish i can fall in love <3.....(sh-------)